An almost instant but cheerful tea for a household.

Light the fire. It's a bit damp outside today. I have a houseful. Children and adults; two thieving cats. Try this. It's a sort of fail-safe but fake pizza where you use lots of bagels. No: I'm being too modest. It's inspired! And I've been doing this for years, so I was pleased to see that Nigella Lawson does something similar for herself and her children with shop-bought naan bread in Nigella Express. Not that pizza bases are hard to make. Ready-made ones are though, as she rightly says, invariably horrid. Anyway, I bet I thought of it first. 

So... Allow two plain bagels per adult then. The squirrel you see above, courtesy of Jesse Millan's photo 'Morning Bagel' at Flickr.com, is showing that you should allow one plain bagel per squirrel. (Unless you are from Georgia, in which case, eat the squirrel. Put it IN the bagel. Actually, I am not entirely joking about this. In the U.K., read your Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall for how to procure and eat a --grey-- squirrel. Plus, my husband is from Georgia, which is sort of how I got away with the initial part of that comment.)

Slice each one (bagel, not squirrel) in two width-wise and spread each one liberally with red pesto. Try to get a good quality one. You could use red pepper pesto or sun dried tomato pesto. Then, have to hand the following:

Capers in brine which you have rinsed to de salt them a little

Pitted green or black olives

Slivers of fresh garlic

Good quality tinned tuna fish (line caught!)

Olive oil. Extra virgin to drizzle on afterwards, or a milder oil to add before these go into the oven

Red pepper, cut into little pieces

Ditto cherry tomatoes

Red chilli flakes

You could have to hand some cured meats, or ham, but today we are happy with the tuna fish (if you go for the former, I wouldn't entertain the anchovies, below)

Anchovies, whether those preserved in oil or salt. Extract from the tin and rinse gently.

Cheese. Mozarella to do it properly (not that bagels are remotely authentic, you understand), but I actually like a hearty mature cheddar on a pizza. Hopefully not too sacreligious to your ear? If it's the former, slice it into little rounds; if the latter, grate it coarsely

So, just add all the toppings prettily to your pretend pizzas and finish up with the cheese, a drizzle of olive oil and plenty of freshly ground black pepper and, if you like, a pinch of the dried red chilli flakes. Put these babies into a hot oven and bake for about fifteen minutes and then call in the troops. I served this tea with a salad made from ribbons of carrot --do these with the potato peeler-- and some finely shredded spinach, seasoned with a lemon juice and extra virgin dressing. Correct its seasoning with the sea salt and black pepper. Actually, some raisins could work here, too.

Look: everyone in your house is happy. Give them a pancake for pudding, as it's timely. The recipe you need is earlier in my writing: pancakes for yours truly.